Don't Die With Your Song Still Inside You

How often do you listen to the little voice with in your head?  Now there is a difference, sometimes the voice is negative and harmful to you.  I like to call it my Itty Bitty S#%&y Committee.  The negative talk that sometimes can be very loud.  What I've been learning from a beautiful friend of mine is to ask this negative self talker inside my head to trust me. 

Trust is a big word for me, it came up a week ago when working with my massage therapist/reiki master.  She was down at my feet and said to me the word "trust".  A bunch of emotions came up.  Trusting others to help me, trusting myself, and trusting the Universe.  All those three areas I'm still working on.  I'm not perfect, I'm me, which is perfect in my heart.  I know I got stuff to work on, we all do!



Tonight I was watching the movie via you-tube of "The Shift" it has Wayne Dyrer in it as the main character.  It's a pretty neat movie.  Lots of great messages in it.  The one that stuck with me this time is "Don't die with your song still inside you."  Now, that's a different voice, it's the voice in your heart.  I took it as what is your heart song?  We all have one in us.  Maybe it's painting, speaking, gardening, dancing.  Take a moment and listen in silence to your heart.  What is it really trying to tell you?

Mine is dance, and being of service to others.  As I wrote about it in my short story, being told by my Mum that I don't look like a dancer any more to stop dancing broke my heart.  I completely stopped dancing.  To the point when in high school at dances friends had to show me how to dance.  I slowly started to dance again.  Till now in this present time I dance at least once a day.  Even around in my living room to a piece of music.

This past week, I've also had wonderful opportunities to meet with friends for tea and have amazing conversations.  Making brilliant connections with others, creating and dreaming big with them.  One friend and I are planning a women's weekend in the mountains in a couple of months.  Working on the mind, body, and spirit of being a woman, in all aspects.  Both the spiritual side and sensual side.  It was so much fun to create with her, and then come home and create two different "play lists" on my I-Pod to use for the weekend.

Another friend has asked me to assist her with volunteer things for an event/workshop she is having in the fall.  It's going to be so much fun working with her!

I am listening to the song in my heart and acting on them.  Will you stop Sister and listen?

I leave you with this beautiful mini movie from you-tube all about dancing.  I love the quotes in this.  Enjoy!

Simple Things

Goddesses of the North (green candle), East (yellow candle), South (red candle), West (blue candle) and the Great Mother (purple candle in the middle) watch over all of us.

This week, I've been reminded all about the simple things in life.  The simple pleasures that are all around me.  Last night for example I had the simple pleasure of enjoying a home made tasty meal, watching some TV and just enjoying being in the moment.

When was the last time you got to spend just enjoying the simple things in life?  Perhaps you have children, and snuggling with them at bedtime is a simple pleasure.  Maybe spending time out in nature is a simple pleasure.  Or even taking a breath of fresh air is a simple pleasure.

Did you know that some people who are incarcerated in jails don't even  get that?  Yes, they get 1hr a day outside of their cell in the "yard", sometimes that "yard" is enclosed, no fresh air at all.

Simple things can be so small that some may not even see them as simple pleasures.  The ability to see, feel, touch, taste, and hear.  I am reminded of many who I know who have lost one of their main five senses in life.   People on the earth are amazing beings,  if we lose one of our five senses something else picks up the spot and glows more.  I know for me, even though yes I wear glasses, my hearing has picked up from where my sight is low. 

Even being alive is a simple pleasure that some may over look!  I know today there are celebrations of death and life!  Marriage and yes even divorce/separation!  I am blessed and grateful to be alive today!  Are you?

There are many others in the world who do not have a roof over their head to call home.  I am reminded of this today as the Great Mother decided to spring on us a snow storm.  I am here at home in my apartment with my cup of tea writing, while outside there are many who do not have a warm dry place to stay.

It's also like looking at things you are grateful for.  They can be the smallest little things.  Have you made your list of what you are grateful for?

Take pleasure in the simple things.  For really everything in life is a simple thing, it's all just stuff!

Sensual?

Today I pulled the Goddess Oshun from my oracle deck.  She's a beautiful Goddess from the African culture.  She's all about sensuality.

What does that mean??  Being sensual?  To me it's a way that I feel.  I can feel sensual when I hear a beautiful piece of music and start moving my body.  Or it can be walking down town with a sexy pair of underwear/bra on underneath my "business" clothes.

A treat I did for me tonight was have my hair cut/styled by Natasja!  I have been growing my hair out, and haven't had it cut since July.  It was a wonderful experience.  I feel so amazing, my hair is so "flippy" (I promise it's a  stylist's term).  She told me exactly what she was going to do, before she did anything. 

When we were done, I felt amazing, sensual, foxy, and powerful.  Yes!  You can be all those things and many more in one moment!  Our power as women comes from our core, from our place of our sensual essence.  Which is our reproductive region, or orange chakra for those of you who study Reiki.  Breathe into that sensual essence!  And celebrate it!

Being in Natasja's chair reminded me of all those things.  That I am a sensual being.  And so are you!  I invite you to put on a wonderful piece of music perhaps something without words, and move your body to the beat.  Don't think about what you are doing, just move your body!

I've been listening to some 'favourite' songs on you-tube find below one I forgot about.  This song has powerful words!

Be your sensual Goddess self!  You deserve it!  Because you are worth it!

4:30am!?!? POWER

Okay, so I awake at 4:30am this morning and can't seem to get back to bed......so I'd thought I would come and sit here at my computer and do a blog post.  Typing on feelings of what ever is coming up in the moment.

This past weekend I've done a lot of reflecting on what is, and what isn't.  The word power has been coming up lots.  Specifically the word self power.  I came to the realization a few days ago now, that this self power that I have is within me, and I'm afraid of it. 

I shouldn't be afraid of it though, I should embrace it and let it move in me and through me.  It's my gift to share with the world.  I can remember a few years ago now roughly summer of 2007, being in a workshop all about finding your personal power.  I was involved in one of the daily activities that was quite physical using martial arts as a metaphor for life.  One of the staff in the event came over to me from across the large room where we were doing some "bag" work with partners.  He said to me that he could feel my intensity/power from across the room and had to come over to see who it was.  He was so surprised that it was me.

Two quotes that I saw/heard this weekend are all about personal power.  One is from my dear Goddess Sister Lee from http://www.simpleeserene.com/  She posted:  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than  the risk it took to blossom. - Anats Nin"  And the other that I heard on the great movie The Secret "There's a power in me, that is greater than the world itself."

When I read the fist quote, I cried.  Some friends of mine have suggested that perhaps the reason for my health issues right now are because they are emotional.  That I'm holding onto something too tight.  I do feel myself blossoming open, to my full ME.  It's a scary/good feeling.  Really showing up to being me, to shining my light for the world.  I need to relax and and be open to all the possibilities.  Stand in my power and showing up to my own party.  For life is one big party.   Taking risks, asking for help even for me is a risk, reaching out to others and letting others in to help me is something I continue to work on daily!

I also am going to do things that help lower my stress in my life.  By being in the company of others, making in person connections with friends.  Dancing just for the sake of dancing around in my living room.  Also arranging once a month for an energy body treatment from another dear Goddess Sister Nadine.  She is an amazing Goddess who works her magic on my body with massage and reiki.

The second quote from the movie "The Secret" spoke to my heart again.  I watch the movie a few times a year, and every time I get something different out of it.  This time it was all about personal power.  I am feeling this power and grounding the energy all at the same time.

Find below a beautiful video/song by Jana Stanfield.  It's called If I Were Brave.  Two of my dear friends, Goddess Sisters are in this video.  They are brave!



I just shuffled my Goddess Oracle deck, and guess who flipped over?  Lilith!  She's the Goddess of Power!  Wow!  I love this Goddess, she was the first wife of Adam, and didn't want to eat the forbidden fruit to be controlled by Adam, so she fled. 

Find below a video slide show all about this amazing Goddess!



So in closing, I ask you Sister, will you stand in your own power?  Let others help you?  And be YOU!

powerful experience

It's almost 1:40am on Sunday the spring equinox is here.   I saw a peak of the moon for a few seconds before she went back behind  the clouds as it is snowing here tonight in Calgary.   I had left my computer to go to bed.  When I got to my room, I all of a sudden instead of getting into my bed, sat down at the desk and wrote out a list of words.  Those words you will find below in this message that flowed out of my fingers so easily onto the paper.  This tip I learnt from a dear friend of mine while attending her workshop a couple of weeks ago about building authentic relationships.

In my life there are many things that I know I have control over.  To realize that I have a power within me that is bigger than the Universe its self is a pretty thrilling experience.  I have big dreams that are grand and make me laugh and buzz with energy when I think about them.

To dance through my life loving everything about my life right now in this moment is a beautiful thing.  Letting spirit be my guide right now to trust that everything will work out perfectly.  I have the burning passion to inspire others around me.  My goal is to awaken every woman on the planet to see that they are a Goddess!

Beauty comes in so many forms.  Beauty comes from within.  I am beautiful, my large breasts, wide hips and full belly.  I am wise, I have so much to share in this world.  I will always tell a child they are wise, wonderful and smart.  For they are our future.

Abundance is everywhere.  We just have to look.  Some of the happiest people on the planet live in a shack with no running water or a bed to call their own.  Yet they create magic every day for themselves.  I create magic in the way I move my body, my dance takes me everywhere I can imagine.  On the wings of the divine I can fly as high as I want.  There is no limit on how high I can soar!

With the music playing right to my heart where I can feel it deep in my soul there are no boundaries.  The world is my oyster I have the power to create it.

Outrageous joy is how I am feeling in this moment.  There are always guardian angels surrounding me and showing me the way to love.  Outside the moon is full and abundant with bright energy that also reminds me that I'm not alone.

Moon energy

Well, here we are at another Saturday!  What another crazy week I had!  Must be all the fun moon energy that is abundant right now!

On Monday I was actually sick home from work.  I had done some de-cluttering the night before, about an hour after, I was hit down with a fever, that carried over to Monday.

Friends of mine said it might have been from all the energy that I moved.  I threw out a ton of stuff, and also have donated things, put things out for "free take me" as well.  Everything I put outside were things weren't serving me any more.

On Wednesday evening after work, I had a beautiful connection with a brilliant Goddess.  We visited, talked about a ton of stuff till when I said I should probably go home this Goddess looked at me and said "yes, and don't look at the clock!"  It was 2am!  Wow!  What an amazing time of connection we had.  I gifted her with a CD that I had made of inspirational music/songs.

Thursday after my "9 - 5" job was an evening that I don't think I'll forget for a long while.  I was at the E-WomenNetwork Calgary dinner event.  Wow!  An amazing evening of huge heart connections with some Goddesses that I have come to know, love, and trust.  As well as one lone Warrior, in the group.  He was our presenter for the night.  Darren spoke about cash flow, dreams, and many other amazing and wonderful things.  Darren and I actually know each other, we met at a seminar a few years ago.  It was wonderful to see him again.

I must say though, that the most amazing, loving connection happened after dinner and Darren speaking.  An outstanding Sister Goddess who I treasure like a big sister, physically connected with me.  She had one hand at my heart, and the other at my belly.  What happened next is almost impossible to describe.  We were both hit with an energy buzz that was HUGE!  My heart was bursting with heat/energy, and my belly felt like it was on fire.  We stayed that way for a long time, not sure how much time passed.  I was crying, and doing my best to stay grounded.  It was so magical.  What we spoke about I'm not going to share, it was between her and I.

The moon is so full tonight, can't see it though due to the cloud coverage in the city.  I think one of the reasons why my Sister Goddess and I had such a strong connection was due to the fact that the moon's energy is very powerful right now.

The moon has lots of energy and power.  Do you ever tap into your own power?  Your own strength?  I know it's something I continually work on each day.  Some days its easier than others.  Let's do this together Goddess....we are powerful.  Let's create magic!

Have you felt the power of the moon?  Have you felt the power of you?

Selfhood and Compassion

Artemis Goddess of Selfhood

This morning during a week day, I sit at a coffee shop getting an opportunity to do some blogging.  I wish I could do this every morning, get up on my own time, head to a local coffee shop get a tea and do some blogging each morning. 

There has been so much going on in the world.  With the Great Mother being uneasy in the region of Japan being the latest unrest of the Great Mother.  I turned to my Goddess Oracle deck this morning for some comfort in what can I do.  Here's who flipped over in my pile today.  Artemis and Kuan Yin.  Interesting, very interesting.  Artemis has always been a favourite Goddess of mine, she's all about being free, living her passion(s), caring for the animals and forests.  First let me reflect more on Artemis......

In Amy Sophia M's book on page 26 from The Goddess Oracle is a poem:

I am who I am
and I know who I am
I can take care of myself
under all circumstances
and I can let others care for me
I can choose
There is no authority
higher than my own
my powers of discernment are finely honed
I am autonomous
I am free from the influence
of other's opinions
I am able to separate
that which needs separation
so a clear decision
can  be reached
I think for myself
I set my sights
and aim my bow
my arrows always find their mark.

It's interesting, selfhood, Artemis also speaks to me about giving time to me.  Asking me if I've been giving so much to others that I forget about myself.  Which is true.  I believe that part of the reason for me getting ill on Sunday/Monday is that I have been giving so much to others, that I forgot about myself.  Yesterday I slept almost the entire day away.

She also speaks to me about her arrow, and firing arrows to dreams.  I wrote about this already, it's huge though, I saw the power of love and dreams coming true for a friend of mine.  She didn't give up, and neither did we, making this wish/dream come true for a friend of a friend.  To live my passion, my dream for the world I know I'm doing the right thing.  My friend Lee wrote on her facebook status page this morning about what is your wish?  I was unable to answer her when I first saw her message. 

Now though, I'm starting to dream big again.  One dream of mine is to travel to all 3 points of this beautiful country of mine.  I'm close, I've been to Vancouver (need to get to Victoria, and Tofino), Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia (need to get to St. John's NFLD), the one up north is the tricky one I wish to get to Tuk-tu-uk-tuk in the N.W.T.

Another to travel to the Goddess Sacred sites of England and Ireland, to where the Lady of the Lake once lived.  To visit where the fairy's live, and dance in the magic of it all!

Other dreams I have are to meet specific people in person Sierra Bender (an awesome Goddess who wrote a book called Goddess To The Core), Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Jillian Michaels.

I have business goals/dreams to for Awakening Goddess as well.  To have more days like today, to sit in a coffee shop and blog, write, connect via social media with others.  To be able to have enough income from Awakening Goddess to have my 2 bedroom apartment to myself again, to be able to cut down my 9 - 5 job and work part time 3 days a week no evenings.   To be in front of  large groups of women sharing my story, inspiring other women that they do have power, they are sensual. 

It's funny as I sit here just finishing writing this paragraph, I'm buzzing with energy, almost on the verge of  tears. All these dreams will come true, I believe it is so!

What are your big dreams?  Let your imagination go, and dream big!

Kuan Yin, Goddess of Compassion

Kuan Yin....similar to Artemis in a way is all about compassion.  Reminding me to have compassion for self, is what I am taking away from this reading.  I have plenty of compassion for other giving so much to others, that I forget to give to myself, to show compassion to myself.

Kuan Yin is a powerful Goddess from the East, she is seen as the "Mother Mary" in the catholic traditions from the West.  Many call to her for compassion for the world.  And frankly I think it's needed right now, with the unrest of the Great Mother in Kuan Yin's home land.

The Great Mother is shaking things up, she wants us to wake up!  She wants us to show up and live. 

Will you do that Sister?  Will you wake up with me, and show up to live?!?

RANGO's teachings

On Friday night, I took myself out for a movie date.  I went and saw the movie RANGO, a kids movie with Johny Depp as the main character/voice.  It had a great story with an even better message.

The message is:  Don't Walk Out Of Your Own STORY!  You are the creator of your own story.  If you walk out of it, then what will happen?  And who you are in your story is important as well.  You Sister are the Heroine!  You are the creator!  You are POWERFUL!!!

I know for me in my life there has been a couple of times where I wanted to walk out of my own story even with out knowing it fully.  I can remember something my Dad told me about when I was first born, the nurses at the NICU had to remind me to keep breathing.  I would stop breathing because my lungs weren't fully developed.  But there was something in me that was stronger.  The doctors told my parents that I would always be small and petite.  Hah!  Were they wrong!  That's like saying that your daughter will not amount to much, and not live her life.  And the doctors thought that about me, I was baptized and not expected to live past 24hrs.

As I grew into adulthood life threw me different curve balls where I could have easily walked away from creating my story.  Being in the hospital 7 years ago with having to under go emergency surgery to remove a cyst the size of a large grapefruit was a very low time in my life.  At one point I thought of walking out of my story (going into a shell/depression and not fully living).  With love and support from family and friends I didn't.  I learned how to ask for help during my recovery.

Now seven years later, it almost feels like a re birthing of sorts for me.  I've had many shifts take place since January.  I've been taking amazing steps to keep going forward in life.  To live my life.  I am creating my own story as the heroine, the creator, the one who says what is so.  It's a thrilling experience, meaning it's scary good! 

I don't really care what others think of me either, I have some critics/negative people who've told me it can't be done.  Or others have said stop you are shining too bright, it's too much.  I know what I am doing on this earth is a good thing, it's needed in the world.  Many women that I've come in contact with and all over the world are not living their Awakened Goddess selves. 

Women connecting with their Awakened Goddess selves, connecting with heart with other women.  Getting into their bodies and moving them in sacred body movement.  It's a healing experience to move our bodies, even if it's a slight bounce/sway to a good piece of music that you love!  I know I've been dancing to some music and all of a sudden the tears will just start to flow, it's a healing it's a release for me.  Showing up moment to moment.

Find below a piece of music with amazing words that I love, it's by Natasha Bedingfield called "Unwritten", about how your life is not written yet, you have the control to do so!





So remember, don't walk out of your own story!  You are the heroine in your own story.  It has yet to be created!!!

Do you believe in Miracles?




The master dream maker!!

 
Wow!  What a roller coaster of emotions this week has been!  Started off with taking part in a seminar all about building authentic relationships.  Where I got to re-meet some amazing women who are all brilliant and radiant!  The group was lead by my dear Goddess Sister friend Lee.  She rocked! 

My physical pain had been non existent for about 7 days, and it came back on Monday, and hasn't left.  I had a skype session with one of my mentors this morning and it really helped.  Getting in touch with my pain in my body and letting myself feel, dream, and connect.  Still have the physical pain, I also seem clearer on my direction and goals.

I've been listening over and over again to my "inspirational" play list on my I-Tunes.  It really helps me keep believing in my passion and purpose.  Right now in this moment is KT Tunsel "Suddenly I see".  A great song!




Toward the end of the week, Lee posted something on her facebook page about a friend of hers.  This friend is a dear soul, a brilliant woman, who is living with a terminal illness.  It is this friend's dying wish to have Michael Buble sing to her in person or via video/skype.  She launched a huge social media push to have Michael sing to honour this wish.  I was apart of the push of love to make it happen.  I posted on facebook and twitter like crazy as much as I could.  To the point where my biological Sister said it was a little over whelming.  If a dear friend says to you that she has a friend who is dying of a terminal illness and has a last wish, will you help make it happen any way you can?  Even if others tell you you are doing to much, or to slow down, or it's over whelming?  I am so happy to announce that in less than 24hrs Michael heard our wish, and sent a video from Hong Kong to her.  I do believe that miracles do come true.  That dreams do come true. 




So many emotions come over me when I think of what took place.  Believe in dreams, believe in miracles, asking for help, asking for what you want.

I've always believed in dreams and miracles.  I sit here today as a miracle child.  Born 3 months early, weighing in at 1 pound 12 ounces, not expected to live 24hrs.  I am here today at 34 years of age living!



Asking for help, for what I want, is still something I continue to work on.  It could be as easy as asking someone for help to clean up a water leak mess in my apartment.  I struggled asking my room mate to help me clean up the mess!  Or it can be big like asking for help after being in the hospital for emergency surgery, where I couldn't do my own grocery shopping or even drive places on my own.  I had to ask for help for everything.

So Goddess, I ask you, do you believe in miracles?  Do you remember to ask for help?

Acts of Kindness

I had an interesting day yesterday, was attending an all day seminar/workshop with all of my co-workers.  It was about culture and spirituality.  How we fit it into our working environment.  I work for an organization here in Calgary that is all first nations/metis staff.  I am one of the only white people working for the organization.

So for most of the day I sat and was an observer, didn't speak hardly at all.  The first thing we did was a pipe ceremony, I've never participated in a pipe ceremony before.  It was wonderful to be a part of it.  Women sititng on one side in long skirts, men on the other.  There were four people sitting at the front of the circle at an alter made of blankets and other special symbols.  Each person at the front of the circle did their own cleansing/smudging of their pipe.  Prayers were said and then the pipes were all passed around, if you didn't chose to smoke that was okay, we were to just put the lips of the pipe to our sides of our body, our heart and the other side of our chest.  It was a wonderful experience to be apart of.

I learned about the history of the organization and then we all after lunch had the opportunity to speak about different things related to the culture and spirituality of our different groups.  I heard things like do I belong, am I native enough from others.  I really started to doubt myself working for the organization.  I thought maybe I didn't belong because I'm not native, I have lots to learn about the culture and spirituality.

When I did choose to speak I only spoke the positve part that I was thinking.  Because I also heard things like being kind.  I spoke about that.  Starting in the Parent Link centre where I am now back in August has been an adjustment.  My co-workers I acknowledged in my speaking and said that they have been so kind and accepting of me, even with all my quirks.  I thanked everyone for allowing me to be there, to participate in the ceremony earlier in the morning.  Being non native I feel very honoured and blessed to be working with such a great organization.

When I got home yesterday, I took myself out for supper.  I had a gift certificate that I was gifted with from an event about a week ago.  When there, I enjoyed my meal, and observing the others around me.  I saw a table of six, two parents and four children.  I called the server over and said that I wanted to put a $20 payment on their bill.  The server figured it out and said sure.  When he went to the table of six and gave them their bill, he told them that $20 had been taken off  by me.  They all stared at me and the husband even stood up and looked at me.  The husband came over and asked if we knew each other.  I said no we don't.  I explained the "pay it forward" or "random acts of kindness" to him.  He went back to his table and explained it to his family.

On the way out, the family all came by and said thank you.  I recieved their thank you, and just asked each one of them to pay it forward.  Encouraging them to do it for someone they don't know.  It was a wonderful experience to witness. 

So Sister, I encourage you, do a random act of kindness for someone you see this weekend.  It might just change the course of their life!

Find  below a video about kindness.  I found it on you-tube!

Making Choices

I've not written in a while, I've been focusing on my health and looking after some health concerns.  Tonight I'm watching The Biggest Loser.  I love the show, the people on the show are so real, they don't hide anything. 

I've been on a long journey of doing my best to live healthier.  I recently stepped on a scale a few weeks ago, and was upset when I saw what the number was.  I have to keep reminding myself that it's just a number.  I've put on 20 pounds, kinda like starting back at the beginning.

Then I started thinking, feeling, and listening to my heart.  Over the past few months I've been really happy.  I've been happy in my heart, emotionally and mentally.  I've been having so many good days, I've been open to all the doors of opportunities that have come my way for my business Awakening Goddess.  There are so many wonderful women to thank.  Everyone is so special to me, I have chosen to honour a small handful here.  In no particular order because they are all #1 in my mind.  The amazing Miss Lee from SimpLee Serene the spunky Miss Jo from e-women, my insultant Goddess Miss Lynne from HandlerInc, my "Amazon Queen" Miss Karen the Enlightened Love Coach, the lively Miss Jenn from systems-girl, the sparkly Miss Colette from Soulmate Relationships, and the sassy Miss Sandra from Calgary Goddesses.  Each of these above women have been there for me, helped me so much, showed me many doors of opportunities that I've opened and stepped  through them all.

I am choosing to be happy, choosing to live my life.  I believe that when the heart is emotionally happy and the brain is mentally happy that the body will follow.  I know I'll keep going on my physical happiness, it's a process, just like the other two, sometimes there are bumps in the road to over come. 

I know I'll get over the  bumps in the road with believing in myself, and continue to love myself.  Life is a roller coaster, twists and turns, mountains to climb, and lots to scream and be outrageously joyful about!

I ask you Sister, what are you choosing today?  You have the power to choose, which path are you choosing?  Life might not always be easy, but with love and support from others as well as believing in yourself you will get through!

Death and Rebirth

This morning my card that flipped out for me was the wonderful Celtic Goddess Cerridwen.  She is the Goddess of death and rebirth.  She is speaking about your life as cycles, that some things are dying or becoming complete and other things are re birthing!

She talks about having each one of us in her cauldron spinning us around, cleaning and transforming us, then bringing us out of her cauldron re birthed and ready to go again!

Wow!  So amazing!  Cycles ending....not dancing with my teacher any more, and re birthing.....Awakening Goddess out in full for all to see!  Pretty amazing! 

I know when I put on the "costume" for a dance show, it in the beginning felt like just that, a costume.  Now though, I see it as a part of me.  I am that Goddess who can be sexy, sultry, and dance in a way that teases men in a sexual nature.  I can bring out that dark energy Goddess when I choose too.  And it's a pretty powerful thing!

Starting Awakening Goddess is like a re birthing for me, it's a breath of fresh air, and I am excited by it too!

Where in your life are there things finishing and then re birthing?? 

Find below a video from you-tube that I found.  It's a chant to the Goddess Cerridwen and Hecate.  I really like this video!

Mystery and Illusion

This morning the two Goddess Oracle cards that flipped over in my hands were Nut and Maya.  Two interesting Goddesses.

First Maya, she is the Goddess of Illusion, my own illusion.  She talks about lifting the veils of the illusion.  It was interesting today I was working today at the day care.  I was working with the toddlers (1.5yr olds to almost 3 year olds).  They have no veils around them, I saw that today, they are just in awe of everything around them.  They really have no fear of anything.  It brought me to tears at one point.  They were just raw, fully present being them.

Started thinking of myself.  how often do I hide behind the illusion or the veils?  Not as often these days.  I pretty much show my emotion and express my emotion on my sleeve.  You will know when I'm upset, or happy.  It's taken a lot of tears, growth to remove the veils.  I show up as I am, I'm not as afraid any more.  I know I've lost friends because of it, and I may loose more who knows.  I have also noticed that I have been attracting to me some amazing connections with others who are willing to stand with me, see me, and accept me for who I am and how I show up in each moment.  The connections I've made over the past month has been amazing, I've been showing up. 

As I commented on a friend's status today, I do my best to show up as an Awakened Goddess living what the motto is of my business embracing and accepting my own wisdom, beauty, grace, and power. 

Here is the picture of Maya from the Goddess Oracle book by Amy Sophia M.  She is also seen as the maiden Goddess of the amazing triple Goddess Kali.  That is why she looks child like.

As I said the other to flip over this morning was Nut, the Goddess of Mystery.  Nut is the night sky, stretching over head.  She is the great Universe, the unknown.  She says to trust the mystery, the Universe.  I am really starting to do this, trusting the Universe and letting go of my wanting to know everything that is going on. 

As I have said before, once I relaxed a bit about not being able to dance with my teacher's company things started opening up for me.  I trusted the process and the mystery of the Universe.  I remain open to all the possibilities.

With these two Goddesses with me today, it was wonderful.  How often do you uncover the veils of you to bring the real you out?  And trust the Mystery all at the same time?  I bet lots!!


This is a mini video about Nut, the Goddess of the Mystery.  I found it on you-tube.

Victim

This morning, I pulled a Goddess card.  I was shocked when I saw who flipped over in my hand.  It was Sedna, she's an Inuit Goddess of the Oceans.  She also represents "victim".  This is why I was shocked when she flipped over.

I've been working crazy hard to drop all thoughts of "victim" mode.  However the reason why she flipped over came true at work today.

I am working tomorrow at the day care.  My old boss phoned to double check that I knew.  I said yes, she was trying to hand up the phone when I asked on the time a 8hr day or a 9hr day?  Normally I would have just said okay yes.  Then later on in the day my now supervisor was asking on who was doing child care for different classes that we offer.  I said I was.  I sat with that for a moment, then sent a memo to my supervisor.  I stood up for myself and spoke my truth.  I told her that I for the rest of the year will not be able to work 2 nights per month late in any situation.  I don't have kids who have commitments, this is for me, my commitments to myself and growing Awakening Goddess.  Making connections with other amazing people.

It felt so good stepping into my self power and speaking my truth at work.

Find below a video I found on You-Tube about the Goddess Sedna.



When was the last time you spoke your truth in a difficult situation, where normally you wouldn't have?  Step out of victim and into power!  I am powerful!  You are powerful!

Are you Awake?

Have you met the Goddess Pele??  She's an amazing Fire Goddess from Hawaii.  She came to me today in my oracle deck.  I didn't even pick a card, I just opened the companion book and there she was staring up at me with her arms stretched over her head with a bursting volcano behind her.  The picture above is the same picture I have in my Goddess Oracle.

As the picture says "Pele, Awakening", are you awakened?  Are you living your passion?  When was the first time you felt awakened?

My first experience of feeling awakened was when I was attending a course on relationships.  I dealt with a lot of inner crap, and started removing the layers or masks to reveal the true me.  I started to be able to trust men again.

Years went by and I was able to grow my inner light, and step out into who I am, knowing who I am . Finally last year really listening to my heart and accepting my passion/purpose for the world. I feel awake when living my purpose.  I can feel the glow inside of me just growing bigger and bigger.

I find it interesting as well I just had an "ah ha" moment....the name of my business is Awakening Goddess.  Pele is the Goddess of Awakening!  I feel that is why she came to me tonight, to remind me of my purpose.  To keep awakening other women to all that they can be.  As well as to remind myself!  To keep living as an awakened Goddess.  To keep that fire within me moving, and flowing.  I am an awakened Goddess!

In closing of this post tonight, I wish to share two things fiest, the poem that comes with the Pele Goddess Oracle card from my book.  The Goddess Oracle, A. Marashinsky, pg. 138, 139.

Pele

AWAKENING

I surge I pulse I throb
I am never still
I am perpetual vibration
a rhythmic beat
the constant hum that you hear
I am always moving
way down in the deeps
with fiery vitality
in places you can only feel
When necessary
with dramatic, fierce, volcanic eruptions
I wake you up
With lava and fire
I say "pay attention"

Also a video movie I found on you-tube.  It's a chant and art work for the Goddess Pele.  In the video are words that are also describing Pele.  Another area she represents according to the author of the video is she is the Goddess of the Dance!  Awesome!  I didn't know she was the Goddess of Dance as well!  Let your Goddess out!  It's time to dance and live life!

putting self out there

Yesterday afternoon, I had a wonderful phone chat with a beautiful Goddess Sister.  We talked about many things, I wanted to share this one topic more.  We talked about putting self out there, really letting our lights shine and be seen.

We both agree that it's scary to really put ourselves out there.  To speak my truth, I've been put down so many times for shining my light, or putting myself out there.  Every time though, I dust myself off and get back up.  Yes I may get up slowly and lean on others for support, but do it.  I eventually stand on my own.  I don't need fixing, I'm not broken.

Here's a quote from a brilliant Goddess who I am so honoured to know.  "A brilliant woman knows she will have raving fans and may also have harsh critics. Remember, if people spread negative gossip about you it means they are only afraid of your light. :) Keep shining!"

As it says, for the amazing number of raving fans one may have, she may also have harsh critics as well.  It's those critics that are actually afraid of you.  This is a good thing to remember.  The critics may be really good friends perhaps.  It's good to keep in a circle of friends who believe in you and support your dreams/goals.  Yes they may give you a dose of reality from time to time, but they do it from a place of love.  I've come into a new circle of amazing, brilliant, and loving Goddesses.  They do just what I said above, support your dreams/goals, believe in you, and also give a dose of reality from a place of love.

It makes me think, growing up I was severely bullied from grades 4 till 8 on a daily basis.  For many reasons, take your pick, for being in Girl Guides, for still using my imagination and dreaming, for the way I look, that I did ballet, the list could go on and on!  Maybe, just maybe all those in grade school who teased me did it because they were afraid of my light even then.  We didn't know the words to describe it in grade 4, perhaps though that was what they were really thinking. 

Yes I danced ballet for 11 years!  And was a member of Girl Guides up until about 10 years ago actually.  It was fun to "make-believe" then, and it is now.  When was the last time you played with play-dough or a pretend cooking set??  I did today!  I am remembering to let myself dream big. 

So I'll continue to put myself out there, yes there may be critics that will put me down, or tell me to dim my light.  However, I bow to them with love say thank you and keep going. 

How will you today put yourself out there??


Find below a couple of pictures of me when I was younger (much younger!)



My Sister (the shorter one) and I at Camp Adelaide, the Girl Guide Camp we went to every summer!




My best friend growing up!  I'm on the left!  We met in ballet class when we were 3 and are still friends today!



And the cards said....

Last night I was using my "The Goddess Oracle" cards by Amy Sophia Marashinsky.  They are a beautiful deck of oracle cards.  Each card has a beautiful water colour illustration of a Goddess.  In the book each Goddess has a poem, mythology, meaning of the card, and a ritual suggestion.

It was rather interesting on what cards fell out of the deck, I was shuffling them and I asked for "one of you".  Instead 5 fell out of the deck instead!  Who fell out were amazing, and I want to share who fell out and my thoughts around it.

The first to fall out was Sophia, the Goddess of Wisdom.  She says that we each have the answers we are looking for inside us all.  Each of us know the answers, we just need to slow down go inward ask the questions, then wait for the response.  A wonderful Goddess said this to me the other night, a reminder that all my answers are with in me.  I just have to stop and listen to them!

The second to fall out was Cerridwen, the Goddess of Death and Rebirth.  She talks about cycles, on how some maybe have ended and now you are rebirthing and changing/starting a new cycle.  Wow!  Is what I thought when this one fell out of the deck.  I had a long time cycle end with not going back to dance, and I'm birthing my business of Awakening Goddess.  It's amazing really.  I know I'm on the right path!

The third to fall out was Yemaya, the Goddess of Surrender.  She says that we each need to surrender into things, to let go and trust.  Well, I've been doing that a ton these past few weeks!  Surrendering to the process of what all is going on.  To trust the Universe to lead me in the right direction.  I've trusted and let go, and so many wonderful things are opening up to me.

The fourth to fall out was Matt, the Goddess of Justice.  She speaks about bringing justice into your life.  This was interesting.   Taking care of myself, my "inner justice system" sometimes plays havoc on my dreams and goals.  It's also called the "ego", the negative self talk, and self put downs.  The ego can be a tricky little bugger, most of the time I think I have it covered, but then something will pop into my head that I start to question myself.

And finally the last to fall out of the deck was Lady of the Beasts, the Goddess of Relationships.  She speaks about just that relationships.  To nurture the relationships that I have maybe just started or have had for a very long time.  She also speaks about relationships that maybe toxic or harmful to me as well.  This card again had me going "Wow".  I have connected with so many amazing people of the past few weeks, I've developed relationships with.  I have to remember to keep nurturing those new relationships, and also give attention to relationships that I've had for a long time.  Then there are the ones that are toxic or harmful to me.  We all have them, just need to really look at all of our relationships and decide if they are helpful or hurtful.

So that's what I got out of my cards from last night.  That I am wise, to birth Awakening Goddess, to surrender to the process, have self justice (not beat myself up), and to keep relationships with others strong!

What do you feel you need to concentrate on?  When you dream, how much of it is dreaming big?  Do you listen to the signs?

Trust the process!

Wow!  What a week!  Over the pasts week I've been at two amazing networking events for women business makers.  And let me just say Wow!  The first one was called Womanation.  A small group of women getting together and connecting, sharing contact info and hearing some great speakers!

Then on Thursday night, I was invited to a second event E-Women Calgary.  Again, a great event, been meeting some brilliant women!  All the women I connected with, or reconnected with are so supportive. 

It's taking a lot of trust of these women surrendering to the process.  Letting them guide me and lift me up.  This for many Goddesses is something they work on constantly!  To surrender to the Goddesses, to trust the unknown.

There are many fears around the unknown.....will it work, what's next, and the big question HOW!?!?  I have begun to really start to trust others, the Universe, and especially myself.  That little knot in my stomach that sometimes grows really big.  For me sometimes it's overwhelming at times.  It's all the build up of all the how questions that are growing.

Although, once I give that little "how" another job, I can relax and trust.  Can you? 

Going with the flow and trusting the Universe and myself.  On Tuesday I was at the Womanation event where I saw some beautiful Goddesses we all were connecting and getting to know each other.  One of the amazing ladies asked if I was going to be at another event on Thursday.  I said I didn't know about it.  It was rather interesting what happened next.  The one Goddess called over another and said that I didn't know about the E-Women event.  She said to me "you're coming, no discussion, you're coming."  I relaxed, trusted the process, and I ended up at the event early even on the Thursday evening.

The word relax is a tough one for me to let in.  Even when I was younger, it was hard for me to relax and just let go.  To trust that things will work out, or even relax my body, I know holding things in can be hurtful on my body as well as my heart.  Who doesn't need to remember that?

I love how the Universe is just all lining things up for me.  Once I let go and trust the process. 

When was the last time you trusted the Universe?

Find below a song/video about trusting the Universe/God what ever you believe in.  I stumbled upon the video.  Not what I normally listen too!  But the words are pretty amazing!

When one door closes....

Alright, alright!  Enough hiding!  I've been hiding and it's time to embrace the change and grow and keep on growing.

A couple of weeks ago, my teacher who I was taking dance classes with said that I was not allowed to return, because of Awakening Goddess is seen as a conflict of interest/business to her.

Yes I was shocked, angry, sad and felt let down.  I had been dancing for 3 years with this teacher.  I guess though, time moves on and people change as well. 

I have always remembered the saying of "when one door closes, another one opens".  And I must say since accepting that I will not be dancing with this one teacher any more, many more opportunities to grow Awakening Goddess has opened to me.  With in the two weeks, I've had 4 women approach me in either doing demo's/classes for them, or saying that I can use space that they have to do small group sessions with clients.

As well as being open to other groups organizations that are for women to grow their business/passion for the world.

I am opening all the doors of opportunity and connecting with other amazing women every day.  Either in person or on this amazing invention called the Internet!  Wow!  I wonder how businesses started out and made connections before all this technology took hold?!

I said on the first of January of 2011 that Awakening Goddess was going to blow open in 2011, and it sure has started off with a huge gust of wind!  I'm riding the wave of love and support from everyone letting myself feel and be open to all the possibilities.

Sister, what wave are you riding?  Is it a good one?  You are the powerful creator, you have all the power to change and open that new door of opportunity!

Find  below a video from you-tube that I found called Open The Dur, a beautiful arrangement of artwork and a wonderful message about opening the door of opportunity and imagination!  I do not own any rights to the music or mini video it's self.

Men write books, Women get out there and do it!

So I had another "ah ha" moment a couple of hours ago.  And wanted to blog about it!  My amazing coach posted our  group pictures from our Burlesque Cabaret Christmas Gala today and I came to an interesting realization.

It seems that a lot of the time, when women get brilliant ideas about sharing their gifts for the world they go out and do it, share it with the world.  Men on the other hand, will most of the time get their amazing brilliant ideas and then sit down and write a book about it!

For the past 4 years now (with the new year just starting) I've been dancing with Burlesquercise.  First starting out in Level One and taking steps up the ladder to be now with the Level Three performance group called "The Sizzle Girls".  When I share with others that I do the Burlesque dancing and perform it out in public, I get many different responses from both women and men.  Mostly the comments are very positive.   The women share with me that they would never have the courage to get out there and do the performances in public.  Some women even share with me that they don't even have the courage to be in the group classes.

It takes a lot of courage to do what we do in the performance troops.  To dance the way we do in front of a crowd, many times there are only one or two people in the audience that I may know.  It's powerful to dance in front of others.  To inspire women that they can be sexy no matter what they look like, that they can dance in a sultry way.

The performance troops are out there doing it, not sitting back and writing a book about it!  We are spreading sexiness in a professional way. 

That is also what I am doing with Awakening Goddess, I am yes writing a blog, but also being out in the community doing it.  Sharing my gift of love/my passion/ my purpose out into the world. 

I invite you Sister, to have your amazing brilliant ideas, and then get out there and do  them! 

Find below a slide show video I made of the amazing coyote's from the Sizzle Girls troop that I dance with.  The slide show has the music of what we danced to that night, a cut/arranged version of Speak No Americano.