Ask for what you deserve!

Goddesses! Sisters! Women everywhere!!! Stop being meek and ask for what you deserve!

I got into an argument with the doctor tonight at the clinic. I went back to see him because he was supposed to refill my antibiotics but didn't. I told him that he only put 7 days on the script but when we were talking last week he said 14 days. He wouldn't write me another script though, even with speaking my truth about the situation. And then he thought the size of the lotion medication I was also there to get more of, he thought it only came in the one size, but I've seen bigger tubes of the same medication. I was getting so frustrated. I almost brought out my "Kali" Goddess. Kali is a Hindu Goddess who would get so angry that she would cut the heads off of the men around her that weren't on purpose, among other things.

I am proud of myself to speaking my truth and asking for what I rightly deserved! I deserve to be healthy, and if at this moment some medications from the medical field will help me in this so be it. But when it's not given to me when I've asked for it there's a problem!

I'm to the point where I am choosing to find a new doctor. I did ask the ladies at the front desk about other clinics. They did say to hold on for a month or so, there is a new female doctor starting in August. So I agreed. I will just have to wait and see.

So where in your life have you not asked for what you deserve? Why are you still playing the "nice girl"? Are you afraid that you'll look weird? Get laughed at? Be told to be quiet? This was a great lesson and accomplishment for me, to realize to stand in my power to speak my truth and ask for what I know I deserve!

Growing up, I wasn't allowed to have a temper tantrum. I remember being told by my parents "Don't be like *Sally*, don't cause a scene." I was to be the "nice girl".

Well now screw that! I can be a "nice girl" yes. But I also can get angry and show my anger when appropriate. As Sierra Bender says in her mantra: "Don't ever mistake my kindness for weakness, and don't ever take me for granted."

I leave you tonight with this video from You-Tube. The theme song from the Olympics here in Canada this past winter. The words of the song are very powerful.

I Believe music official video

Reconnecting to Spirit and the Great Mother

Tonight I decided to go for a walk, well the walk ended up as a drive. I found myself driving out one of the highways west towards the mountains. I pulled over along the highway, I sat by the river and did some practices of reflection and meditation. Find below my reflections:

I'm out in the sanctuary of the Mother goddess. Mother Earth herself. I've found a spot off the highway. It's right on the Bow River. I sit surrounded by the wild grass and the rocks at the bank of the river. Across the river are pine tree's. I can hear the songs of Mother Goddess. The birds and the lapping water on the rocks. Near by there is also a little stream and a little waterfall.

Looking across the river at the stand of trees I can begin to see faces in the trees. I have come "home" to part of my body, my spirit body. I feel I can rest here. The faces in the trees are friendly. They stand tall and straight. Reminding me that I am able to stand tall but also move with the way the wind wants me to bend.

The flow of the water reminds me of exactly that. To let myself flow with the energies of Mother Earth. To trust that She will guide me on the right path. And she'll let me know when I'm not.

Oh Great Mother I see you
Oh Great Mother I feel you
Hold me gently with your arms so wide
Guide me through, I'll be at your side.
I'll listen, to your wisdom.
Oh Great Mother I see you
Oh Great Mother I feel you.

To come back to nature and sit in the arms of the Great Mother is something I'll keep doing. To sit in the silence and listen to her voice, to spirit. I know my path of inspiring women to be fully who they are and accept their own wisdom, beauty and grace will also heal me.

My ego has been quiet this entire time. The "itty bitty shitty committee" has not come up at all while sitting on the Great Mother by the river. I feel at peace, calm, relaxed and connected to all my dreams. Seeing them come into reality.

I am love, I am a divine Goddess who moves like the ocean with all her emotions.

"I am feminine.
I am sensual.
I am sexual.
I am powerful.
Don't ever mistake my kindness for weakness, and don't EVER take me for granted!" ~ Sierra Bender

On the way home, I saw the beautiful moon arising for the night, full and beautiful. It was a wonderful experience to see her rise above me as I came back to the city.

Doctor's don't always know...

Okay, so tonight I was back at the doctor's to find out the test results from the test that I had on Friday. I have a bacteria infection in my stomach. I asked how did it happen to the doctor. His response? He didn't know, it was one of those "medical mysteries".

I could have gotten it anywhere. From stress, lack of sleep, from one of the kids at my day care, from the person in line at the grocery store. Or a combo of all of the above!

I think part of the message from my body to me was to slow down and rest! I go go go so much, that I don't take time to slow down and rest. It was kind of like a "hit to the head" with a rock, not a very big one, but still enough to make me stop and think. As well as listen to my body, I knew something wasn't right with it, so I went looking for help. Yes it was medical help, which is needed in the world, but I could have gone and asked for other kinds of help.

I'm reading an amazing book by an amazing Goddess, her name is Sierra Bender, she has a book out that I highly recommend for all Goddesses to read. It's called "Goddess to the Core", it's a fitness book for all four of the bodies. The emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical bodies.

There are many gems in this book that I might blog about every now and then. Right now, it's the message of slow down. Get out into nature as well, we had a pretty wicked rain storm today and yesterday. As I was walking to my car both times after the rain I said out loud "Thank you Mother Earth!" The rain smell was so intense, it was a wonderful smell. Today even I saw a double rainbow. It was so pretty!

The part that I'm reading is about the mental body. Lots of it has to do with the ego. That little "internal editor" or as Sierra likes to call it the "itty bitty shitty committee". (IBSC) I still deal with my own IBSC, every now and then, it's not as bad now. When I do hear it talking to me, I say thank you and then give it a job. Yesterday it came up while at dance practice. I was having body self love issues. It's job for me was to go and find something to clean my pink dye off of my body with (I got hot pink dye on me from the boa).

So yes, doctor's don't always know everything, they are sometimes still learning about the different illnesses, diseases, infections that can happen to people.

But what are you doing? Are you listening to your body? Do you hear the little taps on your head? Or are you waiting for the big two by four log to whack you on the head? I had the "in between" the road tap this time, but I have had the two by four log as well.

Unleashing Your Inner Magnificence

I have come across a web site that was looking for submissions by women for articles about personal awakening. If selected my story would be published in their e-book, called Unleashing your Inner Magnificence. The website is: http://www.wisdomforwomenebooks.com/home/

So find below the article that I wrote, I am a powerful Goddess, a Warrior Goddess when the time is needed.


I’ve been doing personal growth work for a few years now. I've completed workshops such as working on myself in many different areas for example, relationships, inner self, and so on. But nothing prepared me for a course that I took a few years ago. It was where I truly realized my own awakening, power and strength.

It was July 2007, I was about to embark on the course Awakening of the WarriorSage. It would be 5 days of being out in the mountains, living in a “world” of Camelot, where men were knights, and women were priestesses. Each day there would be an activity for each group to partake in, that would bring us closer to realizing our own awakening.

Okay I thought how is this going to work? What sort of activities will we be doing? Well, was I in for the ride of my life! The first day we were tested by the element of Fire, sitting through a very hot activity, I never knew I could sweat that much! I laughed with my group and saying that if we can handle this, we can handle anything. And boy was I right!

The second day of activities we were tested by the element of Water. In this activity there was some cliff jumping involved. I jumped off the first cliff with little problem. The second one however, was more challenging. It took me a long time to get up the courage to stand at that cliff and jump. One of the leaders looked at me and asked what was I jumping into our away from? I said that I am jumping into my power, and own strength. Never would I have known that jumping into that would I need it so soon.

The final day of the activities our group was tested in the element of Earth. I was thinking, Earth, ok...nature walk? Team building challenge course in the woods? No I was way off the mark on this one. We were led back into the main meeting hall where we had to sit in silence. It was 5 hours of pure hell. I cried the entire time. I had memories/flash backs of an abusive relationship. We were put through situations and activities that I really didn’t want to go through. However I pushed through found my own inner strength inside me, as well as a powerful Warrior Goddess from deep within myself. I connected to Mother Earth, drew upon her energy and came out the other side feeling a sense of knowing my own strength and personal power.
On the final day we had a big gala celebration. Our group did a skit of the week’s events, when we came to the portion of the Earth Element I got up in front of everyone there, staff, and fellow participants and grounded myself, took a huge deep breath and yelled very loud “I am strong, I do have power!”. The entire room erupted into cheers and applause.

It was here at the Awakening of the WarriorSage especially the Earth element that I had my personal awakening, I was able to finally realize that I am powerful, that I am strong. I live my days now with a confidence that no one can ever take from me again! There’s a quote by an amazing Goddess Warrior that I wish to share, it’s from Sierra Bender the founder of Goddess Boot camp, and the author of Goddess to the Core “I am feminine. I am sensual. I am sexual. I am powerful. Don't ever mistake my kindness for weakness and don't ever take me for granted."

I am a powerful Goddess; the Warrior Goddess in me can come out when she needs to. I will fight for my loved ones and never give up in anything that I do ever again!

don't judge the book by the cover!

Okay, Something has been bugging me for a while now, and I'm finally going to blog about it. I'm off sick today, was at the doctor's this morning. My symptoms?? Queasy feeling for the past few days, and tired, really tired. What's your first though on what's wrong with me??? Come on now, be honest!....Pregnant?? Right??

Well NO!!!! I'm not pregnant!!!

The doctor even asked me three times today. I almost lost it on him. Yes, I'm 33, never had sex! When I told him that he finally backed off.

Who knows what I have going on inside me! There are plenty other illnesses that women can have that may also be signs of being pregnant. I'm not going to think about it. I'm just going for some tests on Friday to figure out what is going on.

There are other illnesses like that. For example if you were to see someone on the street or at a bar, they are slurring their words, stumbling over their feet, and not making any sense when they talk. What would you think? Drunk right? Well, they could actually be, but on the other hand, they could have a head injury, going into a diabetic emergency, or even going into an epileptic emergency.

Many people in the world are quick to judge others. And this really has to stop! It really pisses me off that some others in the world judge others before getting to know them. Get to know a person before making judgements on them. Some of my best friends live with illnesses or disabilities! I know many have heard the quote "Don't judge the book by the cover." Well take it to heart!

All the world needs is love, we should love each other, not judge each other!

To be alive

Aaaahh.....to be alive is something I am very grateful for. This quote came to my e-mail box this morning, I find it quite fitting! "I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it." ~ Rita Mae Brown

What does that really mean though? To be alive and enjoy life? I want to encourage you to make a list of what you like to do, and then follow through on it! What makes you happy? As I've said here on this blog before, what makes your heart sing? Put those things on your list! You don't have to do everything on your list every day, but maybe pick one or maybe two things to do. It can be simple or elaborate as you wish. If having a cup of tea makes you happy and it's something you enjoy, then do it!

To enjoy life....what a wonderful idea! I love enjoying life! I'm doing something right now that I have been wanting to do, and have now done it three times, and hope to make this more of a regular theme in my life. To be sitting at a coffee cafe here in Calgary writing on my blog. I like the atmosphere, people watching, and the vanilla bean latte with a bagel has been wonderful.

I'm creating the perfect day for myself. First sitting here in the cafe, next I think I might go for a walk by the river. Later I'm going to a social dance, getting all dressed up and going out to have some fun! And I started out my weekend, last night by volunteering for St. John Ambulance. I love volunteering as well. To give something back to the city that I call home. The event that I was at, was the music of Billy Joel, performed by a cover band called Jeans N Classics, the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra was there back up music. It was a great concert! Here is there blog! http://jeansnclassics.blogspot.com

To be fully awake and not on auto pilot is to do things that make you happy. It also may challenge you a bit, but I know that the universe doesn't put things in front of you that you can't handle. Trust me, I've had some curve balls thrown my way and I've always come out on the other side stronger and more awake then before.

For example if any of the women reading this blog and are in Calgary, wish to learn the art of Burlesque dancing, please I invite you to contact me. I wish to inspire you to be fully who you are and accept your own wisdom, beauty, and grace, through the art of Burlesque dancing. It will be filled with lots of laughter and ease.

See below three pictures that I had done while at the Brazilian Burlesque Gala on May 7th. These amazing photo's were taken by Impressive Photography. You can check out there website here! http://www.impressivephotography.com These pictures are the ones that I ordered. I will be doing another full photo shoot with them in a couple of months. I can't wait!

long time no blog!!

So life for me has been pretty full over this past week. I had my spiritual teacher(s) come into Calgary for four days and I was very busy working with them on their Membership Drive.

We had lots of fun though, telling others about the Get A Life Membership. Taking 11 of the core courses as many times as you want for $147/month! It's crazy I know, it took my brain a bit to get around that. Reason? These 11 courses can be up to six thousand dollars each (depending on the course). If you want any information please leave a comment and a way to get a hold of you and I will send you more information.

I've still been doing the meditation of what am I grateful for and where does my gratitude come from. I am still listing things that seem superficial, or material at times. Although, my knowing where my gratitude comes from hasn't changed much. It comes from my heart, my values what I believe to be true in my heart. It comes from love. Where does your gratitude come from?

Today I let my inner child out to play at work, I had a good connection with one of my students, he was giggling and laughing all over the place. I couldn't help laughing along with him. Tonight for supper I treated myself to pizza and wings, with a dessert pizza that had chocolate on it! Very yummy!

When was the last time you let your inner child out to play??